RAW

This post has been about a month in the making as I just haven't had the courage or the will to write it. We've been praying for answers for the last year and a half now and we finally have them.

Trey went in for another MRI last month to do a follow up on the fluid that was found in his brain last year and to see if there were any new developments. It was awful this time around. At age 2 Trey was so much more aware of his surroundings and he knew as soon as we stepped into the room something was up, and it involved him. For this MRI Trey was to be sedated by IV. "Good luck" were my thoughts. IV attempt #1 was his arm. Failed. IV attempt #2 was his other arm. Blown vein. IV attempt #3 was successful as the anesthesiologist slipped it in his foot. Trey was beyond upset at attempt #3 and I was so thankful that it took only a matter of seconds for the drug to take effect.

The next week we had our answer. Trey has Cerebral Palsy. It's still not easy for me to write out or say as it is still so raw for me. My thoughts go in many different directions as I struggle to comprehend what this means now for our family, for Joe and I, and for Trey. Where will Trey be at developmentally in 5 years? Will Trey ever get to do things that "normal" kids get to do? Will I ever accept this diagnosis and handle this with grace and strength?

I've never experienced the world of having a special needs child and I have to say now that I'm in the heart of it, I view life so differently. Whenever I see a child with a disability I think of how much hurt that family has probably gone through through the years. All those doctor appointments, poking and prodding at that child, uncertainties, tears, frustration and a feeling of helplessness. I'm finding that there are certain things in life that unless you've gone through them, you have NO idea what it's like until you've been there yourself. It's very interesting and to be honest, I wish I didn't have to experience this.

As of now Trey is responding to therapy and he's continually showing signs of progress. We are so thankful for that and it is so encouraging so see our little guy experience new developmental milestones. We have yet to decide what his future is for next year as he has a couple of options. It's possible that he will have a much more rigorous schedule with probably 4-5 days of therapy. Trey is still wearing his ankle orthotics to help him with his stability as he is very wobbly when he's standing and walking. We will also be monitoring Trey's vision as there is some question to whether or not he'll be needing glasses in the near future.

Currently we continue love him, pray for him and cheer him on. Stay tuned... God has big things in store for him, just wait and see.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1